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29 Relatable Tweets About Living Alone

Living alone gets a bad rap: There’s nothing more freeing than being able to waltz around your home, wearing whatever you want, eating whatever you want and blasting whatever you want on your playlist.

Of course, there’s some drawbacks, too: We wouldn’t wish getting the flu while living alone on anyone. (Thanks, food delivery apps, for making that part a little more bearable!)

Below, we’ve rounded up 29 funny tweets that capture all the highs and lows (“Can someone get me a roll of toilet paper? Oh, right...”) of living by yourself.

Any movie where a woman living alone nibbles a snack as opposed to shoveling it into her mouth by the fistful is fake and wrong.

— Ari Scott (@ariscott) August 9, 2012 ">

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle & explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

— Doth (@DothTheDoth) September 16, 2023 ">

living alone is cool until you choke on some cake and realize no one would find your dead body until days later with the fork you were using to shovel red velvet cake right from the pan still in your hand

— sel (@sel_justsel) December 1, 2023 ">

Just cooking chicken nuggets and doing my Ray Romano impression over and over, you? #livingalone

— Michael Donaghy (@michaeldonaghy) October 8, 2015 ">

Being single is cool bc you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss

— Shira (@shiraselko) October 3, 2013 ">

When you’re busy living alone and then someone knocks on your door pic.twitter.com/uUFTAJdv8J

— RaMaverick 💯% (@RamzZy_) July 27, 2023 ">

I love ruining my mental state by constantly watching serial killer documentaries as a single woman living alone in her 20’s. Really adds the right amount of ~spice~ to my life.

— Tina Colón (@tinacolon_) January 28, 2021 ">

the only downside to living alone is when im soooo cozy and something i need is far away i actually have to get up and go get it

— nesrin danan (@blackprints) November 26, 2023 ">

Living by myself in a nutshell pic.twitter.com/ZhjZDlZ8Zx

— NCH (@NCHproductions) August 28, 2023 ">

If something terrible were to happen to me. I'd like to think whoever found me would say "he had some really good tabs open." #livingalone

— Luke Johnson (@lukejohnsonpoet) December 15, 2014 ">

Living alone is kinda lit. My bra is on the kitchen table. There are snacks in my bathroom cabinet. I sit naked on my recliner. I live in organized anarchy

— m. patty mayonnaise (@highermaia) August 1, 2018 ">

single gay men who live alone love getting the tiniest and saddest looking christmas tree and kill it before 12/15....

— Nike PS5 (@NikePS5) November 30, 2023 ">

so if i spend my time eating cheese, watching Netflix, n having orgasms alone, i'm 'depressed', but if someone else is there i'm 'in love' ?

— Babs Gray (@BabsGray) March 28, 2014 ">

One of the upsides of living alone is that you can own 27 different types of rice and no one questions your sanity

— superastrofemme (@superastrofemme) November 29, 2023 ">

My biggest fear about living alone is that a crazed gunman might break in while I'm in the shower and laugh at my penis.

— Joshua Beck (@joshuabeck) December 21, 2012 ">

Living alone, I spend the day after I shave my head worried I'm walking around with an undetected tuft of hair left on the back of my head.

— James Schnable (@szintri) November 29, 2023 ">

goodbye josh https://t.co/iktzggBzZx

— tugskin (@tugskin) November 25, 2023 ">

Perks of living alone: you can eat an entire cheeseball by yourself

Cons of living alone: you eat the entire cheeseball yourself and are now paying the consequences

— Sav R. Miller (@authorsav) March 5, 2023 ">

when men threaten women with “you’re going to end up living alone with a bunch of cats” have any of them considered how fucking awesome that is pic.twitter.com/wILVGUO6wD

— youngmi mayer (@ymmayer) November 25, 2023 ">

living alone is crazy bc I’ll realize I haven’t said not one word in 5 hours

— r. (@xxoorita) May 15, 2021 ">

living alone has pretty much made me a serial killer and I’m NOT SORRY pic.twitter.com/uX0fIeUsJa

— Ray Mant (@RayMant_) January 11, 2021 ">

Living alone comes with special perks, like the freedom to scratch your back against the arm of your couch while you're completely nude.

— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) October 10, 2011 ">

living alone is nice and peaceful until you have to decide what you’re gonna cook EVERY SINGLE DAY OF YOUR LIFE

— val (@vaIinety) November 29, 2023 ">

As l've gotten older, it has become clear to me why the grinch wanted to live alone with his dog.

— Christine Obert (@cdpsolutions1) November 28, 2023 ">

living alone just means i eat standing up way more now

— hootie (@hootietheeowl) December 1, 2023 ">

living alone has improved my mental health 3000% however it also seems to have made me absolutely insane

— dirt prince (@violinbee01) May 29, 2022 ">

the point of living alone when you no longer slice cheese and just nibble on the brick like the rat you are

— one love asshole (@oneloveasshole) November 24, 2023 ">

There’s a cockroach in my house and I live by myself so in conclusion I’m passing away and you guys are never going to see me ever again. This is my last tweet goodbye forever

— jojosolos (@jojosolos) June 30, 2022 ">

Who are we?

SINGLE YOUNG PROFESSIONALS

What do we want?

FOR PERISHABLE GROCERIES TO BE SOLD IN SMALLER PORTION SIZES

— Maggie Sage Hunter Wainerdi (@swaggie_hunter) July 23, 2018 ">

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